LinkedIn

Updated my profile today. Because it matters.

More importantly, the strategic/focused banner ad for me is:

Fully Cooked Meatballs - Premium Oven Baked Meatballs - Request Samples Today.

Don't mind if I do.

First work faux pas

Do not call the pornstar you work with by her pornstar name at the office.

New Job - New Cube

From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Tuesday, June 08, 2010 9:50 AM
To: Ricochet
Subject: People think they're so smart

We have a database of wholesale and end-use customers. I was looking for a store in Louisiana, and came up with three individual customers who are all named "Dirk Diggler."

Come on people, step up your game.

End of an Era

From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2010 12:16 PM
Subject: Leaving the Ute


Hi Favorites,


I put in my two weeks notice today - I tried really really hard to love my job here, but I'm not programmed for corporate life.


I'll be leaving to go lead Good Vibrations' wholesale effort on June 1. My last day will be May 25.


If we have any outstanding work together - I'll tie that all up for you stat.

_____________________________________________

From: Ricochet

Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2010 2:15 PM

To: Homewrecker, Susie

Subject: RE: Leaving the Ute

I need you to tie up like hecka different stuff. I think you'll have to push back your start date.

I DON'T THINK I WANT YOU TO LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, world? Really.

From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2010 8:30 AM
To: Ricochet
Subject:


Just tried to quit but Vanessa was too busy.

_____________________________________________

From: Ricochet

Sent: Tuesday, May 11, 2010 8:31 AM

To: Homewrecker, Susie

Subject: RE:

Excellent email.

Crash bang

From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Monday, December 28, 2009 9:33 AM
To: Ricochet
Subject: RE:

I'm writing regulatory compliance management procedures for 27 mandates. Drafting them, actually, since I don't really know what they mean.

_____________________________________________
From: Ricochet
Sent: Monday, December 28, 2009 9:34 AM
To: Homewrecker, Susie
Subject: RE:

Is that anything like drafting a big-rig on the freeway?

_____________________________________________
From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Monday, December 28, 2009 9:35 AM
To: Ricochet
Subject: RE:

Almost identical

I can't swim

From: Homewrecker, Susie
Sent: Wednesday, December 1, 2009 11:32 AM
To: Ricochet
Subject:

Name for an punk emo band: the sunk costs

_____________________________________________
From: Ricochet
Sent: Wednesday, December 1, 2009 11:49 AM
To: Homewrecker, Susie
Subject: RE:

Or the Sinking Costs